The Nigerian Haul
The Nigerian Haul Cool(Info): The nigerian men require your help to load items across Runescape, will you accept this task? Requirements Quests requirements: The Cold War World War II The Anglo Saxon Nightmare Fishing Extravaganza 56 Item Requirements: 19.2 Castle Wars Tickets(.2 obtained from using a castle wars ticket 3 times on yourself which requires you to be able to log on and off quick enough to catch the last tick of yourself to use on) 56,000 Yellow Beads 3 Chisels 1 Blurite Battleaxe 1 Web Snipper - Approx. $700 U.S. dollars Skill Requirements: Level 99 Hitpoints Meeting up Talk to Johnny Suckmyfuckingbigasboot for a chance to start this quest, this chance is increased slightly by performing the following actions: -Typing in "Suckme" -Equipping a Cyan Hat Party -Crystal Once you talk to Johnny he will tell you about the Nigerian Haul, which requires you smuggling 1,000 items across Runescape. He is gay. Smuggling Smuggle 1,000 different items across Runescape to John John, Johnny's brother. John John will ask you to have sedx with him 5 minutes after giving him the 500th item, if you accept, make sure you have at least 21 master bedrooms in your player owned house otherwise you will be brutally slaughtered in real life by a man with a mudskipper hat. If you decline, be prepared for a global stock loss of Lunchables, so sell your 655 stocks in Lunchables quick! John John will give you a Ring of Fuckos, equip this ring to open a fake completed quest dialog that gives you 1 quest point as a reward. Little does John John know, you want your fucking items back Smuggling Part 2 John John will ask you to smuggle a Dalaran Sharp using a cross dimmensional game portal(collaboration between blizzard and jagex). Pay $60 for all the World of Wacraft expansions and $15 for a subscription, and another $100 for a cross dimension fee and your ready to play! Enter the portal by John John, and you will be taken to Ironforge as your Runescape character. Talk to the gryphon master and he will give the Ring of Fuckos(e). Equip this ring for yet another fake dialogue that rewards you with 43 gold coins. Smuggling Part 3 Now its times to go back to Runescape. Use your 3 chisels on the gryphon master(If you don't have them, you will have to contact Amazon Customer Service with the message "Package Misconceived" for a free trial on Club Penguin 3D and a 5% chance for your account to be switched back) Head back to Jon Jon and..... This is the final fake dialogue! You gain 200 agility experience. Heading back to Nigeria Go to Port Sarim and you will notice a new ship installment. Equip Blurite Battleaxe and eat your web snipper to gain access. The boat master will ask you the secret code, type in the text for the Gettysburg Address: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. After typing in this, you will instantly be reported to Nigeria(An online game). Make sure you paid your $500 cash fee to negotiate Nigeria and Britain's political arguments. Once your in Nigeria, you will receive a personal email from Jagex, informing you your account has banned. Look for the "B" in banned, copy and paste this to your clipboard, and paste it to the code submission for your account. Nothing will happen, but it gives you a good reputation. Contact Jagex support saying your sorry you fucked over the Nigeria Britain Peace Treaty of 1853, and hopefully you will get unbanned. Likely you won't, but the risk is worth it for the epic quest rewards. Final Steps to Smuggling Once you are unbanned and are logged back in, you should have document in your inventory called "Peace Treaty." Use this item on John John after dropping your 56,000 yellow beads individually around him in the shape of the Mona Lisa and... Quest Complete Token! Quest Complete Use your Quest Complete Token on John John and... Quest Complete! Rewards - 500 experience in all skills - 5x Chisels -Access to Nigeria -1 Quest Point -1x Blurite Helm -$5 Burger King Gift Card(Claimed from completing 50 online surveys)